Career Ruined? Adopt a Negro!
Another stupid white liberal woman. Maybe that’s why Jesse packed his bags? Goodness knows I would’ve done the same…
Mrs. Bullock is going to imitate her on screen alter ego by adopting a Negro child, the ultimate status symbol for the Hollywood elite. Supposedly, she and James adopted this child before the Oscars and the secret was kept until now because of all the controversy. I suppose that’s true, but suffice to say I would not be horribly shocked if it’s not.
Who is the boy’s actual birth mother? Who knows? Who cares? God knows it would be useless to ask who is the father.
Adopting a Negro has several benefits. First, of course, you don’t actually have to go through the hard work of having a child. Like a television, or a new car, you simply pick up your newest consumer good through the proper channels, thus preserving your body, your all important moneymaker.
Second, the Negro is an invaluable prop in showing off your moral superiority and altruism, while simultaneously staying on the cutting edge of fashionable culture. A confused looking nonwhite child dressed up in the latest designer clothes (for kidz!) tells the world that you are both rich and righteous.
Third, of course, it rebuts any accusation of racism, especially relevant for poor Sandra here. If she indeed adopted this child months ago, it is a fortunate bonus for her. I can’t wait for the television interview when Sandra can effortlessly decry her ex-husband’s racism, especially considering how they were going to raise a real, authentic, black child of color and lift him heroically out of oppression together. Adopting a Negro makes you Teflon as far as racism accusations go. (Well, at least until your cute little pickaninny grows up into a Proud Black Man, who can than denounce you as a “typical white person” and call you a racist. But if you’re a Hollywood celebrity, you’ll have OD’d by then anyway.)
Fourth, it confirms you as a member of the global anti-culture. You proclaim your proud separation from all the bigoted, particular attachments of your despised white heritage. In fact, if you don’t have kids of your own, you get to end that evil bloodline once and for all. Instead, with the last flickering spark of your line, you get to glorify yourself not just above your kin, but actually at their expense. In so doing, you proclaim your membership in a global fraternity of cosmopolitan, atomized individuals who are citizens of the world and proclaim no loyalty to anything except the liberal creed of nondiscrimination. (Of course, you are still below the highest global fraternity of all, which is a group — shall we say a tribe – of individuals who do not believe such illusions and who run your industry. That, however, is a topic for another time.)
Finally, there’s one last bonus. Maybe one day we can teach him to throw a ball and we can make a movie about him too!
This kid is obviously better off with Sandra Bullock than without support of any kind. Nonetheless, he is clearly losing something too. While it’s stupid to read too much into facial expressions in pictures, I can’t help but observe that he doesn’t look thrilled on the PEOPLE cover. Even he seems to sense that this whole situation is disgusting and unnatural.
Many black organizations have been complaining recently about these transracial adoptions. They argue that black children are not allowed to connect with their culture and that the children are actually traumatized by these unnatural encounters. It could be argued that this child would be psychologically healthier and better off with a middle class black couple who couldn’t conceive rather than with a rich celebrity that wants to show off.
Of course, blacks who express concerns like this are right, but they are missing the point. Sandra Bullock is the point here, not the child. It is she that we must celebrate and admire.